Japanese Politeness Level Mistakes: What English Speakers Get Wrong

Mixing up politeness levels is one of the most socially costly mistakes in Japanese. Using casual speech with a boss or overly formal speech with close friends creates awkwardness. This guide covers the key errors and how to fix them.

Mistake 1: Using Plain Form with Strangers or in Service Settings

Yuka

コンビニで「これ、いくら？」は失礼に聞こえることも。「おいくらですか」の方が自然。
(「これ、いくら？」at a store can sound rude. 「おいくらですか」is more natural.)

Rei

日本では店員さんにも丁寧語を使うのが普通だね。
(In Japan, it’s normal to use polite language even with shop staff.)

Mistake 2: Using です/ます with Close Friends

Yuka

親友に「今日は学校に行きますか」って聞いたら、ちょっと変だよ。
(Asking a close friend 「今日は学校に行きますか」sounds a bit odd.)

Rei

「今日、学校行く？」の方が自然！
(「今日、学校行く？」is much more natural!)

Close friends and family expect casual speech. Consistently using ます/です with them can feel cold or distant in Japanese culture.

Mistake 3: Confusing 尊敬語 and 謙譲語

This is the most common keigo mistake. The rule: use 尊敬語 for OTHER people’s actions; use 謙譲語 for YOUR OWN actions.

Mistake 4: Mixing Levels in One Sentence

Yuka

「部長がいらっしゃいます、私も行く」は混在してる！
(「部長がいらっしゃいます、私も行く」mixes levels!)

Keep politeness level consistent within a conversation turn. If you start with ます/です, continue that way throughout.

Quick Quiz

1. Your boss is coming. Say “The manager has arrived.” → _____
→ 部長がいらっしゃいました。

2. You are going. Say “I will go.” (humble) → _____
→ 私が参ります。

3. At a store, “How much is this?” → _____
→ おいくらですか。

Made this mistake before? Tell us in the comments — it helps other learners know they’re not alone! 💬

Keep Learning:

• Keigo: Giving & Receiving
• Plain Form vs ます Form