You have been studying Japanese for a while now, and you finally want to make real plans with native speakers. Maybe you want to invite a friend to dinner, or a colleague asks if you are free on Saturday. What do you say? How do you politely say no without sounding rude — or worse, leaving the other person hanging with an awkward silence? Knowing how to suggest, accept, and decline plans naturally is one of the most practical conversation skills in Japanese. This guide walks you through everything you need, from casual invitations with close friends to polite declines with colleagues.
| Phrase | Reading | Meaning / Use |
|---|---|---|
| 〜しませんか | 〜しませんか | Won’t you…? — polite invitation |
| 〜しましょう | 〜しましょう | Let’s…! — mutual suggestion |
| 〜はどう？ | 〜はどう？ | How about…? — casual suggestion |
| いいですね | いいですね | That sounds great! — agreeing warmly |
| ちょっと… | ちょっと… | Hmm, it’s a bit… — polite soft decline |
| 残念ですが | ざんねんですが | Unfortunately… — formal regret opener |
| 都合がいい／悪い | つごうがいい／わるい | Convenient / not convenient |
| 予定がある | よていがある | I have plans already |
| また今度 | またこんど | Let’s do it next time — soft close |
| よろしければ | よろしければ | If it is alright with you — polite opener |
Making Suggestions and Invitations
Japanese has several ways to invite someone to do something, and the form you choose signals the level of formality and the dynamic between you and the other person. Getting this right makes your invitations feel natural rather than stiff or overly casual.
〜しませんか (Won’t You…?)
The pattern Verb ます-stem + ませんか is the standard polite invitation form. It is literally a negative question — “Won’t you do X?” — but in practice it functions as a warm, respectful invitation. Use this with people you are not yet on casual terms with: new colleagues, classmates you have just met, or anyone in a semi-formal social setting.
一緒（いっしょ）に昼ご飯（ひるごはん）を食べませんか。
Won’t you have lunch together with me?
今週末（こんしゅうまつ）、映画（えいが）を見ませんか。
Won’t you see a movie this weekend?
〜しましょう (Let’s…!)
The pattern Verb ます-stem + ましょう is the volitional form, meaning “Let’s do X together.” It is slightly more assertive than 〜しませんか because it assumes the other person is already on board. Use it after the other person has shown interest, or when you are responding to their invitation by enthusiastically agreeing to a plan.
じゃあ、6時（ろくじ）に会（あ）いましょう。
Alright, let’s meet at 6 o’clock.
〜はどうですか / 〜はどう？ (How About…?)
This pattern is great for proposing a specific option or idea. 〜はどうですか is polite; 〜はどう？ is casual. It often carries the nuance of “What do you think of this idea?” which makes it feel collaborative and low-pressure.
新（しん）しいイタリアンのレストランはどうですか。
How about that new Italian restaurant?
Casual Forms: 〜しない？ and 〜しよう
Among close friends, the plain-form versions feel most natural. 〜しない？ (Verb negative plain + rising intonation) is the casual equivalent of 〜しませんか, while 〜しよう is the casual equivalent of 〜しましょう.
カラオケ行かない？ — Wanna go to karaoke?
行こう！ — Let’s go!
A quick reference for the four forms:
| Formality | Invitation (Won’t you…?) | Let’s… |
|---|---|---|
| Polite | 〜しませんか | 〜しましょう |
| Casual | 〜しない？ | 〜しよう |
Yukaねえ、来週（らいしゅう）の土曜日（どようび）、一緒にランチしない？
Hey, wanna do lunch together next Saturday?
Reiいいね！どこにしよう？
Sounds good! where shall we go?
Accepting an Invitation
Accepting an invitation in Japanese is more than just saying “yes.” The way you accept signals how enthusiastic you are, and matching your energy to the register of the invitation is an important social skill.
Polite Acceptance
When someone invites you with 〜しませんか, respond in kind with polite forms:
いいですね。 — That sounds great. (warm, agreeable)
ぜひ。 — By all means! / Absolutely! (enthusiastic but still polite)
喜（よろこ）んで。 — With pleasure. (formal; common in business or service contexts)
Casual Acceptance
Among friends, drop the formality:
もちろん！ — Of course!
いいよ！ — Sure! / OK!
やった！ — Yes! / Awesome! (very enthusiastic)
Notice that いいですね and いいよ use the same base word いい (good), just at different register levels. Matching the register of the person who invited you is always the safe choice.
Politely Declining
This is where many learners freeze. Japanese culture places great value on maintaining harmony, and the language reflects this in the art of the soft decline. A direct “no” (いいえ) to an invitation can feel shockingly blunt — so Japanese speakers rarely use it.
The Magic of ちょっと…
The word ちょっと (a little) trailing off into silence is the most culturally important phrase in this entire article. When someone uses ちょっと… as a response to an invitation — with a gentle tone and a pause — every native speaker understands it as a soft “no.” You do not need to explain why. The vagueness is intentional and considered polite.
来週（らいしゅう）はちょっと…
Next week is… (a bit difficult for me).
As a learner, you can add a little more context to make it easier to understand:
すみません、その日はちょっと都合（つごう）が悪（わる）くて…
I’m sorry, that day is a bit inconvenient for me…
More Explicit Polite Declines
残念（ざんねん）ですが、予定（よてい）があって。
Unfortunately, I already have plans.
申（もう）し訳（わけ）ありませんが、その日は都合が悪くて。
I’m terribly sorry, but that day doesn’t work for me.
Notice how these sentences end with て-form (〜て), trailing off rather than completing. This trailing て or で is a Japanese softening device that leaves the exact reason gently unstated, just like English “it’s just that…” or “the thing is…”
Keeping the Relationship Warm with また今度
The phrase また今度（またこんど） — literally “again next time” — is the standard way to close a decline gracefully. It signals that you are genuinely interested but just cannot make this particular occasion, and it leaves the door open for future plans.
残念ですが、今回（こんかい）は予定があって。また今度、ぜひ！
Unfortunately I have plans this time. Let’s definitely do it next time!
Yuka今週末、映画を見に行きませんか。
Would you like to see a movie this weekend?
Reiあ、すみません。今週末はちょっと予定があって…。また今度、ぜひ！
Oh, I’m sorry. This weekend I have plans… Let’s definitely do it next time!
Confirming the Details
Once the invitation is accepted, you need to settle the practical details — when and where. Here are the essential phrases for confirming a time and meeting place.
Setting a Time
何時（なんじ）にしましょうか。 — What time shall we make it?
3時（さんじ）はどうですか。 — How about 3 o’clock?
何時でも大丈夫（だいじょうぶ）です。 — Any time is fine for me.
午後（ごご）2時以降（にじいこう）なら大丈夫です。 — After 2 p.m. works for me.
Choosing a Meeting Place
どこで会いましょうか。 — where shall we meet?
待（ま）ち合（あ）わせ場所（ばしょ）はどこがいいですか。 — where would be a good meeting spot?
駅（えき）の改札口（かいさつぐち）で待っています。 — I’ll wait for you at the station ticket gates.
The noun 待ち合わせ（まちあわせ）is specifically the Japanese concept of “arranged meeting point” — it is used constantly when coordinating in person and is well worth memorizing.
Yukaじゃあ、土曜日の何時にしましょうか。
So, what time shall we make it on Saturday?
Rei午後1時はどう？渋谷（しぶや）駅の改札口で待ち合わせしよう！
How about 1 p.m.? Let’s meet at the Shibuya station ticket gates!
Changing or Cancelling Plans
Life happens. Cancelling plans is always awkward, but in Japanese there are set phrases that make the apology sound sincere and keep the relationship intact.
Rescheduling
リスケできますか / リスケ可能（かのう）ですか。
Can we reschedule?
リスケ is a trendy shortened form of リスケジュール (reschedule), widely understood especially among younger speakers and in business contexts.
別（べつ）の日（ひ）に変えてもいいですか。
Is it alright if we change it to another day?
Last-Minute Cancellation
When you need to cancel on short notice, layer your apology to show genuine regret:
本当（ほんとう）に申し訳ないんですが、急用（きゅうよう）ができてしまって、今日（きょう）は行けなくなってしまいました。
I am truly sorry, but something urgent has come up and I am no longer able to come today.
Breaking this sentence down:
— 申し訳ない (もうしわけない) = “I have no excuse” — a very sincere apology
— 急用ができてしまって = “an urgent matter has come up (unintentionally)” — the て-form of しまう softens by implying it was beyond your control
— 行けなくなってしまいました = “I have become unable to go” — again, なくなってしまう signals the situation arose unwillingly
Casual Cancellation Between Friends
ごめん、やっぱり今日（きょう）行けなくなっちゃった。また今度！
Sorry, I actually can’t make it today after all. Next time for sure!
Here やっぱり (after all / as it turns out) and the contracted 〜ちゃった (shortened form of 〜てしまった) give the sentence a very natural, spoken feel.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Mistake 1: Using 〜しましょう as an Invitation
Many learners use 〜しましょう to invite someone, but this can sound presumptuous. 〜しましょう assumes agreement — it is best used after the other person has shown interest, or when confirming an already-agreed plan. To invite someone for the first time, use 〜しませんか or 〜はどうですか instead.
❌ 一緒に飲みましょう。(sounds like you’re telling them, not asking)
✅ 一緒に飲みませんか。(politely inviting — much more natural)
Mistake 2: Leaving ちょっと… Too Unexplained
While native speakers instantly read ちょっと… as a soft no, learners sometimes use it and then wonder why the other person keeps pressing. If you are in an ambiguous situation or speaking with someone unfamiliar with the convention, add a little context: ちょっと都合が悪くて (it is a bit inconvenient) is clearer while still staying politely vague about the exact reason.
Mistake 3: Declining Without Offering an Alternative
When you say no to an invitation in Japanese, leaving it at just “no” — even a polite one — can feel cold and signal that you are not interested in maintaining the relationship. Native speakers almost always add また今度 or propose a counter-offer. Try this pattern:
今週は難（むずか）しいですが、来週（らいしゅう）はどうですか。
This week is difficult for me, but how about next week?
This single sentence shows that you value the relationship and genuinely want to spend time with the person — just not right now.
Mistake 4: Saying いいえ Directly to an Invitation
In textbooks, いいえ (no) is taught as the opposite of はい (yes), and learners often try to use it to decline invitations. In real life, a bare いいえ, to an invitation sounds abrupt and even rude. Use the soft patterns above instead — your relationships in Japanese will be much smoother for it.
Quick Quiz
Test yourself! Choose the most natural response or fill in the blank.
1. Your colleague invites you to lunch. How do you politely accept?
a) いいえ、食べましょう。
b) ぜひ、行きましょう！
c) やっぱり、いいです。
✅ Answer: b) ぜひ、行きましょう！ — enthusiastic and polite.
2. Fill in the blank: 今週末は________… (soft decline, trailing off)
a) とても
b) ちょっと
c) たいへん
✅ Answer: b) ちょっと — ちょっと is the classic softener for a polite no.
3. You want to invite a friend casually to karaoke. Which is most natural?
a) カラオケをしませんか。
b) カラオケに行かない？
c) カラオケはどうでしょう。
✅ Answer: b) カラオケに行かない？ — casual plain-form is most natural with a friend.
4. How do you ask “where shall we meet?” in Japanese?
a) どこで会いましょうか。
b) いつ会いましょうか。
c) 誰と会いましょうか。
✅ Answer: a) どこで会いましょうか。 — どこ = where.
5. You need to cancel plans at the last minute. Which phrase best shows sincere regret?
a) ちょっと…
b) また今度！
c) 本当に申し訳ないんですが、急用ができてしまって…
✅ Answer: c) — This combines a formal apology with a gentle explanation using 〜てしまって, which is most appropriate for a last-minute cancellation.
How did you do? drop your score in the comments below! If you got all five, you are ready to start making plans in Japanese with confidence.
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Daisuke is the creator of JP YoKoSo — a Japanese learning site for English speakers. Every article is written to explain Japanese clearly, with real examples, grammar notes, and practical tips for learners at every level.
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