Yuka付き合う and デートする — both involve spending time with a romantic interest. But are they the same thing? Not quite!
Reiデートする (deeto suru) means to go on a date — a specific outing together. 付き合う (tsukiau) means to be in a relationship — the ongoing commitment. You can デートする before you 付き合う!
| デートする (deeto suru) | 付き合う (tsukiau) | |
|---|---|---|
| Meaning | To go on a date | To date (be in a relationship) |
| Duration | A single event/outing | Ongoing relationship |
| Commitment | Low — just an outing | High — exclusive relationship |
| Example | 今週末デートする。 | 彼女と付き合っています。 |
デートする — Going on a Date
デートする (from English “date”) means to go on a date — a specific outing with a romantic interest. It does not imply an established relationship.
- 今週末デートする予定。— I have a date planned this weekend.
- 初めてデートした。— We went on our first date.
- デートに誘われた！— I was asked out on a date!
- どこにデートに行く?— Where are you going on your date?
付き合う — Being in a Relationship
付き合う means to be officially in a relationship with someone — exclusive dating, going out. It is a commitment, not just a single event.
- 彼女と付き合っています。— I’m in a relationship with her.
- 付き合って3年になる。— We’ve been together for 3 years.
- 付き合ってください！— Please go out with me! (relationship proposal)
- 別れるまで2年付き合った。— We dated for 2 years before breaking up.
The Typical Progression
In Japanese romantic culture, the typical flow is:
- 1. デートに誘う — Ask someone out on a date
- 2. デートする — Go on dates (getting to know each other)
- 3. 告白する — Confess your feelings (kokuhaku)
- 4. 付き合う — Officially start a relationship
The 告白 (confession) step is an important Japanese romantic tradition — someone explicitly asks “付き合ってください” and the relationship officially begins.
Common Mistakes for English Speakers
English “dating” can mean both going on dates AND being in a relationship — which is ambiguous. Japanese is more precise: デートする = the act of going out, 付き合う = the relationship status. Don’t use デートする to mean “we’re in a relationship” — that’s 付き合っている.
Quick Quiz
How do you say “We’ve been in a relationship for 1 year”?
Answer: 付き合って1年になります。
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