wakareru-vs-furu-vs-rikonsuru

2021年6月1日2026年5月1日

Relationships end in different ways in real life — and Japanese has distinct vocabulary for each type. 別れる (wakareru) means to break up with a partner. 振る (furu) means to reject or dump someone. 離婚する (rikonsuru) means to get a divorce. These three words are often confused by learners because English covers all of them loosely with “break up” or “split up.” This guide makes each word precise.

Yuka

Rei, my teacher mentioned 別れる and 振る vs. 離婚する today. What’s the difference?

Rei

Great question! Both come up a lot in everyday Japanese. The trick is knowing which context calls for which — let me show you!

TOC

At a Glance: 別れる vs. 振る vs. 離婚する

Feature	別れる (wakareru)	振る (furu)	離婚する (rikonsuru)
Core meaning	Break up with (mutual or one-sided — from the ending party’s view)	Dump / reject someone (one-sided, you are the one ending it)	Get a divorce (legal dissolution of marriage)
Who is involved	Dating couples (not married)	One person dumps the other	Married couples only
Word type	る-verb (ichidan)	う-verb (godan)	する-verb
Particle used	〜と別れる (to wakareru)	〜を振る (wo furu)	〜と離婚する (to rikonsuru)
JLPT level	N3	N3	N3

別れる (wakareru) — Breaking Up with a Partner

別れる is the standard word for ending a dating relationship. It is used for couples who are not married. The pattern is: [person A] + は + [person B] + と + 別れる (Person A breaks up with Person B). The particle と is essential — it marks the person you are breaking up with.

別れる is relatively neutral — it does not specify who initiated the breakup. It simply states that the relationship ended. It can also mean “to part” in a non-romantic sense, such as saying goodbye to a friend at a station.

Example 1 — romantic breakup:

彼女と別れた。
Kanojo to wakareta.
I broke up with my girlfriend.

Example 2 — asking about a breakup:

彼氏と別れたって本当？
Kareshi to wakareta tte hontou?
Is it true that you broke up with your boyfriend?

Example 3 — non-romantic parting:

駅で友達と別れた。
Eki de tomodachi to wakareta.
I said goodbye to my friend at the station.

Yuka

I see… so context really matters with 別れる? It’s not just about the literal meaning?

Rei

Right! Japanese often works that way. 別れる especially has nuances that go beyond a direct translation — keep that in mind.

振る (furu) — Dumping or Rejecting Someone

振る specifically means to dump, reject, or turn someone down — you are the one doing the ending, and the other person is on the receiving end. The pattern is: [person A] + は + [person B] + を + 振る (Person A dumps Person B). The particle を marks the person being rejected.

振られる (furareru) is the passive form — “to be dumped.” This is extremely common in natural Japanese conversation. Someone who has been dumped says 振られた (furata) — “I got dumped.”

Example 1 — dumping someone:

彼は彼女を振った。
Kare wa kanojo wo futta.
He dumped her.

Example 2 — getting dumped (passive):

昨日、彼女に振られた。
Kinou, kanojo ni furata.
I got dumped by my girlfriend yesterday.

Example 3 — confessing and being rejected:

告白したけど、振られてしまった。
Kokuhaku shita kedo, furate shimatta.
I confessed my feelings, but I got rejected.

Yuka

Got it. And 振る vs. 離婚する — is that the opposite, or more like a different usage?

Rei

More of a different usage! 振る vs. 離婚する carries its own feel. Comparing them together like this is actually the fastest way to master both.

離婚する (rikonsuru) — Getting a Divorce

離婚する is specifically for married couples ending their marriage — divorce. You cannot use it for dating couples. The pattern is: [person A] + は + [person B] + と + 離婚する (Person A divorces Person B). Like 別れる, the particle と is used.

離婚する appears frequently in news, drama, and formal discussion of marriage law. It is a compound verb: 離婚 (rikon = divorce) + する (to do).

Example 1 — announcing a divorce:

彼らは去年離婚した。
Karera wa kyonen rikonsita.
They got divorced last year.

Example 2 — considering divorce:

夫と離婚しようかと考えている。
Otto to rikou shiyou ka to kangaete iru.
I’m thinking about divorcing my husband.

Example 3 — news context:

その有名人は昨日、離婚を発表した。
Sono yuumeijin wa kinou, rikon wo happyou shita.
That celebrity announced their divorce yesterday.

Side-by-Side Comparison

Situation	別れる	振る / 振られる	離婚する
Dating couple ends the relationship	○ 彼氏と別れる	—	✕ (not married)
You dump your boyfriend/girlfriend	△ (neutral)	○ 彼氏を振る	✕
You get rejected after confessing	—	○ 振られた	✕
Married couple legally divorces	✕	✕	○ 離婚する
Saying goodbye to a friend	○ (non-romantic parting)	—	—

Decision Flowchart: Which Word to Use?

You want to describe a relationship ending.
        |
        v
Are the two people MARRIED?
   |           |
  YES          NO (dating, not married)
   |           |
   v           v
離婚する        Are you describing ONE PERSON dumping
(divorce)      or rejecting the other?
                   |           |
                  YES          NO (mutual/general end)
                   |            |
                   v            v
               振る           別れる
               (dump, reject) (break up with — neutral)
               振られる
               (get dumped — passive)

Quick Quiz — Test Yourself!

Yuka

I think I’ve finally got it! Let’s take the quiz to be sure.

Rei

Perfect confidence check! Let’s go — you’ve got this!

Choose 別れる, 振る, or 離婚する for each sentence.

Q1. She broke up with her boyfriend last month.
彼女は先月、彼氏と＿＿＿。
Kanojo wa sengetsu, kareshi to ___.

Answer: 別れた (wakareta)
Reason: Dating couple, relationship ended — neutral ending = 別れる.

Q2. He was dumped by the girl he liked.
好きな子に＿＿＿しまった。
Suki na ko ni ___ shimatta.

Answer: 振られて (fuarete)
Reason: Being rejected/dumped = passive form 振られる.

Q3. That actor announced he is divorcing his wife.
あの俳優は妻と＿＿＿ことを発表した。
Ano haiyuu wa tsuma to ___ koto wo happyou shita.

Answer: 離婚する (rikonn suru)
Reason: Married couple ending their marriage = 離婚する.

Q4. She finally dumped him after three years.
3年越しで、ついに彼を＿＿＿た。
Sannen goshi de, tsui ni kare wo ___ ta.

Answer: 振っ (futt) — 振った (futta)
Reason: She is the one ending it and rejecting him = 振る.

Q5. They have been married for 10 years and are now divorcing.
10年間結婚していたが、今＿＿＿しようとしている。
Juunenkan kekkon shite ita ga, ima ___ shiyou to shite iru.

Answer: 離婚 (rikon)
Reason: Married couple ending their legal marriage = 離婚する.

＼ Learn Japanese with a personal native teacher!／

📖 Want to take your Japanese further? Practice speaking with a professional Japanese tutor on italki — affordable 1-on-1 online lessons at your own pace.