“to” au vs. “ni” au：Do You Know What The Difference is?

Yuka

〜に合う and 〜と合う look almost identical but the particle changes the entire meaning. This is a tricky pair that confuses many learners!

Rei

〜に合う (ni au) means to match or suit something — like clothes that fit or colors that go together. 〜と合う (to au) means to be compatible with someone or to agree with a person.

〜に合う — Matching and Fitting

〜に合う is used when something matches, suits, or fits well with something else. The に marks the target it matches.

• このスカートに合うトップスはどれ?— Which top goes with this skirt?
• この料理に合うワインを選んでください。— Please choose a wine that pairs with this dish.
• 状況に合った対応をする。— To respond in a way that suits the situation.
• 口に合いますか?— Does it suit your taste? (Is it to your liking?)

〜と合う — Getting Along and Agreeing

〜と合う uses the particle と, which marks mutual or reciprocal relationships. It is used for people being compatible, opinions matching, or feelings aligning.

• 彼とは気が合う。— I get along well with him. (Our feelings match.)
• 意見が合わない。— Our opinions don’t agree.
• 二人の性格が合っている。— The two have compatible personalities.
• 趣味が合う友達がいない。— I don’t have friends with matching hobbies.

The Particle Is Everything

The key is the particle: に (ni) targets a thing to match against. と (to) signals a mutual relationship between people or views. Same verb, different particle, different meaning.

Common Mistakes for English Speakers

English speakers may forget to switch the particle and say 彼に合う when meaning “I get along with him” — but 彼に合う means “it suits him.” For compatibility between people, always use と.

Quick Quiz

How do you say “We have compatible tastes”?

Answer: 趣味が合う。/ 私たちは趣味が合う。

Practice with a Tutor

Particles are the hardest part of Japanese. A native tutor will help you get them right through real conversation.

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